I just realized that no coverage of National Peanut Month could be anywhere near complete without mentioning Peanut Butter Jelly Time.

It’s beyond me how dancing fruit became synonymous with the Buckwheat Boyz’s crazy song about PB&J, but once you’ve seen this silly little video, you’re gonna have that lodged in your brain permanently!

Check out the Peanut Butter Jelly Time video!
 

Labels: food, humor

Trey sent us a photo this week of his son Zach that just begged to be blogged.   You may recall that Zach was quite expressive even before he was born.   Well, now he’s using his outspoken attitude & incredible sense of style to help promote our 2Dolphins website.



After this, I’m sure you’ll all be craving our cool swag, so be sure to cruise on over to the 2Dolphins Marketplace to get your very own, limited-edition, high-quality gear featuring our custom site logo and/or graphics!

Silly Legal Disclaimer:
We reserve the right to only sell our awesome products to those interested in purchasing the stuff.   The content on the CafePress 2Dolphins Marketplace, including our snappy captions & clever product descriptions, is provided on an "as is" basis without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including but not limited to the stuff actually looking cool, having limited availability, or being constructed of high-quality materials.   The purchaser fully assumes the risk of appearing uncool while wearing our stuff — although we think you’ll be totally stylin’.
 

Labels: humor

Sensing that we’ll need all the help we can get as first-time parents, Candy K. thoughtfully sent us a link that outlines some key safe baby handling tips.

Warning:   The illustrations on this linked page are milk-snorting-thru-your-nose hilarious so click with caution!

          Dos and Don’ts With Babies
 

Labels: humor, parenting

Oh yeah, I was confident in my complete mastery of the movie.   Yup, the way we spout off the lines, you’d think all of us at work had a hand in writing the script for Office Space.

Yet, when it came time to prove my stuff?   Well, not so much.   Think you can fare better?   Take the Office Space Movie Quiz for yourself and let’s just see how many you can score correctly out of the 100 questions.

A word of warning, some of these questions are brutally tough even for the most hardcore of fans!   Good luck, Lumberghs!

Update:   Big props go out to Eric J. for the link to the Bill Lumbergh Soundboard.   Pop on over there and listen to some hilarious sound clips of Gary Cole’s character from the movie.
 

Labels: humor, movies

It seems that no blog would be complete this week without an iPhone reference.   Like me, David Pogue has drank the Apple Kool-Aid.

David is the New York Times Circuits columnist who’s created an original music video called "iPhone: The Musical" about his longing for an iPhone.

P.S.   David, if you’re reading this, throw me a bone here & send me one of your spares!   There’s no editor to pay for my new toys, so I don’t have an iPhone yet...   <sigh>

Labels: humor

Rory Sullivan over at the excellent hamelife blog, recently penned a witty article designating whistling to be activity #2 in the distinguished list of "10 Pastimes Strictly the Domain of Men:"

I don’t mean the kind of piercing utilitarian wolf-whistle [used] to call the dogs.   I’m talking about whistling a merrie tune.   A root-te-toot-toot paradiddle on the personal puckered piccolo-lips.   Girly-girl Lauren Bacall must have been entirely unconvincing when she "whistled" because her pitiful instructions on how to whistle might at best cool your soup down, and at worst produce a pretty pathetic raspberry.   Whistling a merrie tune while driving?   A man.   Whistling a merrie tune while taking a jaunty walk down the road?   A man.   Whistling a merrie tune while doing painting and decorating?   A man.   Putting up signs saying, "Absolutely under no circumstances is there to be any whistling, under pain of very painful death!"   A girl.

Well, this really started me thinking...   I whistle.   A lot.   Yet more often than not, I’m oblivious to the fact that I’m even doing it.   Unfortunately, my coworkers & wife aren’t so lucky...

But unless you can’t do it (sorry, Martin!) I doubt that many people hardly ever think about whistling, yet there’s a lot more to it than you might think.   For example, the seemingly simple type that most of us do is called "pucker whistling," which turns out to be a rather technical feat:

Pucker whistling is the most common form of whistling used in most Western music.   Typically, the tongue tip is lowered, often placed behind the lower teeth, and pitch altered by varying the position of the tongue body.   In particular, the point at which the dorsum of the tongue approximates the palate varies from near the uvula (for low notes) to near the alveolar ridges (for high notes).   Although varying the degree of pucker will change the pitch of a pucker whistle, expert pucker whistlers will generally only make small variations to the degree of pucker, due to its tendency to affect purity of tone.
— Reference: wikipedia.org

What’s more, there’s even a global online whistling community called Orawhistle that boasts nearly 700 members from over 31 nations and features just about everything (and maybe even more) that you’d ever care to know about whistling.

If all of this whistle talk has you in the mood for music, you’re really going to enjoy DJ Riko’s "Whistler’s Delight" which is a clever mash-up that expertly mixes together 22 well-known whistling songs.

So, now it᾿s your turn...   Do you whistle while you work?
 

Labels: humor

Brad ("Trey") & Amy got some great news during her first ultrasound this week - it’s a boy!   Unfortunately, he’s already expressing his attitude after only the first trimester!   Given the pose he chose to strike, it seems likely that "Junior" is going to be just as salty as his old man.

Labels: humor

At the end of May each year, Pat Fierro’s students in the Odessa College Massage Therapy program have an internship period during which they amass 50 hours of (wait for it...) hands-on experience in preparation for becoming registered massage therapists.   Karen W. tipped me off about this a couple of years ago.   So each Summer, I look forward to taking advantage of the opportunity for a great massage (or two!) at an incredibly reasonable price.   And over the past weekend I did just that.   It was well worth the wait!

Likewise, over the past few years, I’ve also become accustomed to getting a pedicure every 4-6 months to alleviate ingrown toenail problems.   So, a few weeks ago, Dede & I visited MCM Eleganté Getaway Spa & Salon for some pedis.   As is customary, Christy did a fantastic (and pain-free) job at whipping my gnarly dogs into tip-top shape for Summer.

And of course, I suppose that I’ve gotta come clean about getting my hair cut at a "salon."   Our pal Jen over at The Palms Salon has been doing my "do" for several years now and I couldn’t possibly keep up my stylish coiffure without her skillfull scissor support.

Not to mention that I moisturize after showering each morning.   Oh, then there’s also the fancy Crest Spinbrush for cleaning & brightening my choppers.   And don’t forget the goo-spitting electric razor & nifty little Wahl beard trimmer...

Sheesh, I’d never really considered all of this cumulatively, but it sure all adds up to a lot of, um, fussy primping & preening for just an average guy.   Sure enough, I’ve unconsciously been a lot more mindful of my general appearance & health since my gastric bypass surgery almost 3 years ago.   Now I’m pretty secure in my manhood, but I started thinking...   This could have me bordering pretty close to metrosexual...

metrosexual   (met-roh-SEK-shoo-ul)   n   [coined by Mark Simpson, 1994.]
A usually urban heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and/or an inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of heterosexual females or homosexual males.

Ack!!   Could it be true?   Am I becoming metro?   Well, hopefully not, but at least I can take solace in knowing that I’m not nearly so extreme or clichéd as the metrosexual hipster doofus pictured above.

Update:   I had a tough time chasing back down the source for the cool cartoon, but Dede finally nudged me in the right direction.   (She is the Google guru, y’know.)   "Nutless Tendroid" and many, many other hilarious "Bane of My Existence" cartoons by Rod Filbrandt can be found at Chowderhead Bazoo.
 

Labels: health, humor, self-improvement

Hey, we’ve arrived at the first Monday of the month so it’s time for the next round of Blogtipping. You may recall from my March Blogtipping post that this was coined by Easton Ellsworth and is an opportunity to give three compliments & one useful tip to three fellow bloggers.   Now, I didn’t set out with "guy-stuff" in mind as the theme for April’s spotlight blogs but as I was assembling my props for the month, it just sort of evolved...

Dumb Little Man is Jay White’s collection of tips to make the everyday person more productive in life. What’s to like about his site?

1. Jay & Mark post tips that are practical & relevant.
2. New articles are posted often and categories make the content easy to navigate.
3. You can subscribe to receive updates via email.

• Tip: There doesn’t seem to be a way to email suggestions or contact the author directly.

Dethroner is Joel Johnson & Alex Colby’s head-on, two-fisted, & unflinching daily digest dedicated to men’s grooming, fashion, home life, & other toils of the modern man. What’s not to like?

1. Useful or just plain entertaining content covering the gamut of guy stuff from TV shows to DIY projects to half-naked coffee baristas.
2. They’ve even got manly discussion forums!
3. Did I mention beer?

• Tip: Some posts might make even The Duke choke up a little!   Rhino Egg Harvesting?

Toolmonger features tool reviews, commentary, news, & projects. You’ll find yourself returning to this blog because:

1. Articles on a wide variety of stuff - not just the kinds of tools you’d find in your garage.


2. New tool content & reviews are added continuously! (Thank goodness for RSS feeds!)
3. I sent these guys email & they answered very quickly!

• Tip: Needs more of those cool "'One Beer Projects" how-to articles!

As a bonus capper for this testosterone-fest, be sure to jet over to the Miller Lite "Man Laws" site to catch up on all of the latest unwritten guy rules decreed by Burt, Jimmy, & the other distinguished "Men of the Square Table."
 

Labels: blogs, Blogtipping, cool sites, humor

In Web lingo, a lurker is someone who reads message boards, newsgroups, or blogs, but rarely participates. Lurking is a serious problem throughout the Internets. Thanks to Lea over at Quick Serve Kids, however, I discovered that there may yet be hope.

To address this crisis, Sheryl over at Paper Napkin boldly declared the 2nd week of January to be "National Delurking Week." Okay, sure, this is the last day so I'm a little late to the party, but it seemed like a good bandwagon to jump on. After all, I'm not above a little shameless self-promotion.

According to the colorful little pie charts & graphs, our webstats say that people actully do occasionally visit 2Dolphins but don't often post any comments. C'mon now, you know who you are. As Sheryl says, "If you don't leave a comment, you're letting the terrorists win."

Labels: blogs, humor

I recently discovered OfficeMax's Elf Yourself website where you can Elfamorphosize yourself (or just about anyone else) into one of Santa's funny little helpers. Naturally, I had to try it out with pictures of our peeps (also, I'm easily entertained). Click the names below to see each of their Elfin likenesses: Rob Trey Linda Whit Clems Gretchen Amberly April

Labels: cool sites, humor

Not long ago, I discovered a site by Denise F., a.k.a. Miss Cellania via 25peeps.com. Inspired by her recent Penguin Post and in honor of "Happy Feet" (although it wasn't nearly as good a movie as we'd expected), I give you 2Dolphins' own...

Top 5 List of Penguins

• Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot from the Batman TV series

• The commando penguins from Madagascar

• Berkley Breathed's Opus

• The cast of March of the Penguins

• Tux, the Linux mascot

Labels: humor

We're big fans of NBC's The Office sitcom series. It's kinda scary just how much most of the characters are just like some of the people we work with...

A few weeks ago, our TiVo recorded a Season Preview Promo that featured 3 otherwise unavailable mini-episodes of The Office. In the hilarious episode 3, Dwight Schrute's bobblehead doll gets kidnapped & held for ransom. I discovered yesterday that a video with all 3 of the promotional commercials is available, so click the above link to watch & enjoy!

Labels: humor, tv

 


Big props to John Moore over at Brand Autopsy for the link on this fun little poke at Starbucks.
 

Labels: coffee, humor

Sometimes you stumble innocently across something that strikes a chord with you so deeply that you'e just gotta share it. I geuss that's what this whole "blogging" thing is about, huh? Well, this morning, I staggered, bleary-eyed and not yet fully awake, across The Sneeze, a website that bills itself as "Half zine, Half blog. Half not good with fractions." Well, I'm about 127.5% sure that this site is hilarious.

(Supreme bonus points for anyone who caught that obscure reference to Ted, the software developer who had no concept of mathematics from Survivor: Thailand.)

Do ya remember how when you were a kid you'd sometimes laugh so hard that milk would come out your nose? If you've been aching to relive that childhood memory, you have only but to peruse the insanely funny rantings (and occasional ravings) in the Steve, Don't Eat It section where a fellow (presumably named "Steve") reviews funky and disgusting food products that no rational person would consider eating. For example:

"First off, I would like to say to Dolores, I am sorry. I don't know what it is I did to you, but you have gotten me back and we're even."

How do I find these things? Don't ask. Just enjoy!

Labels: food, humor

We recently caught Jim Gaffigan's Beyond the Pale Comedy Central stand-up routine and haven't stopped laughing about it since.

One of the best parts of the show is his Hot Pockets routine. I'll never be able to look at them the same again...

Labels: humor

For those of you that eBay, this funny Weird Al video might hit a little too close to home.
On eBay - Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Labels: humor

The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has published the winners of its annual Wacky Warning Labels contest. Each year, M-LAW awards a copy of Philip K. Howard's bestselling book,
"The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America" to the winner.

This year a heat gun used for paint removal bears the warning, "Do not use this tool as a hair dryer" has been awarded as the nation’s wackiest warning label. 2nd place goes to the "Never try to catch a falling knife" label found in the packaging of a kitchen knife. And a cocktail napkin featuring a map of the waterways around Hilton Head, South Carolina warns, "Caution: Not to be used for navigation."

Labels: humor

The tipping point seems to have certainly arrived for the lowly, underrated cowbell thanks to the skit featuring Christopher Walken & Will Farrell that aired on Saturday Night Live five years ago. The classic skit parodied a VH1 "Behind the Music" episode showing the fictitious genesis of Blue Öyster Cult’s "Don’t Fear the Reaper." I’ve always been a big fan of Christopher Walken, and you can’t help but love his straight-faced delivery during this skit, but Will Farrell definitely steals the show.

"Gotta Have More Cowbell" T-shirts are all over eBay, Wired magazine July 05 issue showcased the skit’s timeline to critical mass, and there’s even a website, The Cowbell Project, that’s obsessively devoted to cataloging every rock song that features the cowbell — and even a few that don’t but should.

Read up on the entire scoop on the SNL skit over on Wikipedia or click here to view a Google Video clip of the entire parody.

And if you decide you’ve just "gotta have more cowbell" of your very own, grab a copy of the SNL: The Very Best of Will Farrell DVD.
 

Labels: humor, tv

A blog entry over at Gerard Vlemmings' Presurfer has had me in stitches for the last day or so...

It seems that the clever folks at the Anti-Dolphin Organization are convinced that dolphins intend to corrupt and ultimately dominate humans with their array of menacing abilities and devious ways. The ADO urges you not to ever let dolphins get you down by remembering:

You are a human.
You have opposable thumbs.
You can stand upright.
You rule.

Labels: dolphins, humor

Better than an OnStar, there's Trunk Monkey! Check out the videos at this website and see how handy the Trunk Monkey really is!!

Labels: humor

Ever feel like your life may be a bit too "wired," what with PCs, PDAs, cell phones, MP3 players, DVDs, digital cameras, and all the other cool high-tech goodies we all seem to endlessly crave?   Well, these guys in Brendan Leonard’s video are so wired into the digital life that you may feel downright normal:



Brendan Leonard's "Instant Mess"

(Note: Requires Apple's QuickTime player.)

Labels: humor, technology

Here is a funny spoof about your favorite coffee shop, Star-Schmuck's.

Warning...this contains adult language!

Labels: coffee, humor